After the slaughter of more than 75000 human beings the Sri Lankan army had cornered their leader, Prabhakaran. They killed the mastermind of the bloody Tamil insurrection. They photographed his bloated corpse a thousand times and paraded it around the town. The world had just witnessed the birth of a zombie. His henchmen immediately claimed that Prabhakaran had planted a duplicate and he had flown away on a golden chariot to the land of zombies. This zombie will rule the world for a long time. The zombie terrorists kill more people than the living terrorists. Zombies do not need to hide.
Zombies are a very powerful clan and they rule the world thousands of years after they are dead. Many of them are miraculously credited with more powers than they ever had when living. Osama Bin Laden is another big zombie these days. No one knows where he is but his zombie is the front man for Al Qaida and many world governments who need him alive even when he is dead. A mere picture of him could launch a suicide bomber all over the world. Karl Marx is another very powerful zombie. People love him, people hate him and many do not what to do with him. They cannot get rid of him. The recent economic meltdown has added to his power.
Everyone wants their own zombie. There are big zombies and small zombies. The big zombie of Khomeini is still the de facto ruler of Iran. Churchill’s zombie walks very tall in Great Britain. This plump zombie is always drinking and not getting drunk. Charles de Gaulle is still a very potent zombie in France. Luckily a lot of people are no longer shooting at him. Gandhi is all over the place in India. They loved him so much that they assassinated him and made him a zombie. We have more zombies in United States than anywhere else. Washington, Jefferson and the two Roosevelt’s are the most popular ones. The latest is Ronald Reagan. In United States even murders like Charles Manson and Bonnie and Clyde have some times joined the elite zombie class. One American zombie is hiding all the time. Truman is still not sure about dropping atom bomb on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Mongolia has recently launched a determined bid to resurrect the zombie of Genghis Khan. Everyone is trying to wake him up. And who can forget the dirtiest zombie of Hitler. This killer zombie just cannot help killing.
Our living leaders badly need zombies to clutch on to when they are clueless about things. They can blame things on them. A zombie is a leader who cannot be questioned and grilled by anyone. A zombie is always supreme and always wins when everyone loses.
Sometimes zombies capture living people and destroy things through them. Casanova’s zombie captured Bill Clinton and almost ruined him. Hillary rescued him. The zombies of the many bears which Sarah Palin killed had captured her and John McCain and sent them to a big defeat in 2009 elections. Kurt Cobain’s zombie has captured Rush Limbaugh and is making him act wacky.
The chief zombies in the world, Jesus and Mohammad have been ensconced comfortably in their cushy thrones for thousands of years. They have been wreaking havoc in the world for so long that the human beings take the huge destruction and cruelty as a part of God’s plan. To name a few big achievements wreaked on mankind recently, let us recall crusades, world wars, Hiroshima, Middle East conflict, Iraq, Vietnam, Rwanda, Serbia, Bosnia, Afghanistan and Somalia among many more. Let us not blame the rapes, plagues, aids, tsunamis, earthquakes and destruction of countless human beings on zombies. Zombies light the fireworks and watch this with glee.
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